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Written by

Kate Dyson


Kate is a content specialist who is passionate about women's health. She's also mum to three kids, two dogs and unsurprisingly, a lover of wine.

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For words you might want to know more


Incontinence is the involuntary leakage of urine from the bladder.

Overactive bladder (OAB)

Describes a condition characterised by a sudden and uncontrollable urge to urinate, often exacerbated by hormonal changes during menstruation.

Pelvic floor exercises

These exercises, such as Kegels, target the muscles that support bladder control and can help reduce urinary leakage and improve overall bladder function.

The Loneliness of Leaks: Mental Health and Incontinence

Incontinence, the involuntary leakage of urine, is a condition that affects millions of women worldwide. While we often talk about the physical impact of leaks and incontinence, we don't often address the way mental health can be affected through loneliness and isolation that can sometimes go hand in hand with these conditions.

Understanding Incontinence in Women

Before we dive into the mental health aspects, let's briefly explore the most common types of incontinence experienced by women:

  1. Stress Incontinence: This type of incontinence occurs when physical pressure is exerted on the bladder, causing urine leakage during activities such as coughing, sneezing, or exercising.

  2. Urge Incontinence: Also known as overactive bladder, this condition is characterized by a sudden and intense urge to urinate, often leading to leakage before reaching the toilet.

  3. Mixed Incontinence: As the name suggests, this type involves a combination of stress and urge incontinence symptoms.

  4. Overflow Incontinence: This occurs when the bladder fails to empty completely, leading to constant dribbling or leakage.

While incontinence may seem like a physical issue, its impact on a woman's mental well-being cannot be overlooked. Here are some of the common emotional challenges faced by women living with incontinence:

Withdrawing from social occasions

"It's like living with a constant fear of embarrassment," confides Sarah, who at 45, is struggling with urge incontinence. "I've stopped going out with friends or attending social events because I'm terrified of having an accident in public."

As Sarah articulates, the fear of experiencing an embarrassing leakage episode in public can be overwhelming, leading many women to withdraw from social situations altogether. The isolation can have detrimental effects on mental health as our support networks dwindle and loneliness takes over.

For many women experiencing leaks, the constant worry and anxiety surrounding potential accidents can create a vicious cycle, where the fear itself becomes a source of stress, exacerbating the urgency and frequency of incontinence episodes.

Intimacy Challenges

"Incontinence has put a strain on my relationship," shares Emily. She's been dealing with stress incontinence since she was 38. "I've become so self-conscious and afraid of leakage during intimate moments that I've started avoiding physical intimacy altogether."

Emily's experience highlights the profound impact that incontinence can have on intimate relationships. Fearing leakage or control during sex can create a significant emotional barrier, leading to self-consciousness, embarrassment, and a reluctance to engage in physical intimacy - and this is perfectly understandable, and can cause a strain to even the best of relationships.

However, this emotional disconnection can lead to feelings of disconnection, resentment, and for many women struggling with intimacy, the stress and anxiety surrounding incontinence can further contribute to a decreased libido and sexual dysfunction, compounding the challenges faced in maintaining a healthy intimate relationship.

Avoiding exercise and movement

We know only too well that exercise is not only crucial for maintaining physical health but also plays a vital role in promoting mental well-being by reducing stress, improving mood, and boosting self-confidence.The fear of leakage during exercise can be a significant deterrent, leading many women to avoid physical activity altogether.

"I used to love going for runs and hitting the gym, but now I dread it," says Jessica, 42, who has mixed incontinence. "The fear of leakage during exercise has made me stop altogether, and I've gained weight, which only adds to my feelings of low self-esteem."

We know that exercise also helps the pelvic floor and can improve leaks in the long term - but always discuss with your GP if you find that your leaks are occurring more during exercise.

Workplace woes

"I've had to take time off work because of incontinence episodes," confesses Emma, 51. "The stigma and embarrassment have affected my self-confidence and productivity, and I've even considered quitting my job. It's just miserable."

For many women, the fear of leaking at work is enormous - and as Emma's experience highlights the profound impact that incontinence can have on your career, especially if it happens during menopause when you might be feeling challenged in the workplace already. This can lead to decreased productivity, absenteeism, and even the consideration of quitting altogether. This can have ripple effects on a woman's career trajectory, as reduced confidence and productivity may hinder opportunities for advancement or recognition.

Disrupted Sleep

"I wake up multiple times during the night to use the bathroom, and it's taking a toll on my sleep quality," shares Olivia, a 48-year-old woman with nocturia. "I'm constantly tired and irritable, which affects my mood and overall well-being."

Nocturia, or the need to wake up multiple times during the night to urinate, is a common and bothersome condition that can significantly impact sleep quality and overall well-being. It has increasing prevalence as we age and is common in menopause, often as an early symptom of perimenopause. Nocturia can have various underlying causes, including overproduction of urine at night (nocturnal polyuria), reduced bladder capacity, sleep disturbances, or underlying medical conditions like diabetes or heart failure.Incontinence can disrupt sleep patterns, leading to fatigue, irritability, and decreased overall quality of life.

4 Tips for managing your mental health with bladder leaks, urgency and incontinence:

While incontinence can undoubtedly impact mental well-being, there are solutions available to help women navigate this challenging journey:

  1. Speak to your GP: Speak to your GP about a referral to a urogynecologist or a pelvic floor therapist to explore treatment options for incontinence. Addressing the physical aspect can alleviate the emotional burden.

  2. Join Support Groups: Connecting with others who understand the challenges of incontinence can provide a sense of community, validation, and shared coping strategies. Our Jude and Friends Community is a great place to find support and advice.

  3. Practice Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Techniques like deep breathing, meditation, and yoga can help manage stress and anxiety associated with incontinence. You could also try journalling which has shown a huge benefit in improving mental wellbeing.

  4. Try Jude's Bladder Strength Supplements: These supplements are formulated to support bladder health and may help reduce leaks and urgency, providing a sense of control and confidence and improving leaks by up to 66% via their natural, powerful botanical blend of pumpkin seed and soy germ extracts.

Jude’s clinically proven supplements give you better bladder and pelvic floor control, helping you sleep through the night and regain the freedom to live life on your own terms. With just one capsule morning and night, you'll have relief from need-to-go urgency in just 12 weeks.

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