Can we appreciate humour about bladder weakness?

British culture is well known for its comedy and the fact that it is often based on laughing at difficult experiences in the world around us.

British culture is famous for dark humour

If you look through the ages you will see that the British have built a reputation on surreal, and often dark humour with 'Monty Python', 'Derek and Clive', and today’s brilliant comedy writers such as Phoebe Waller - Bridges who created the hit TV comedy series 'Fleabag'.This style of comedy is also seen in Australia and America, - an example being the stand up comedian Hannah Gadsby, (who won a 'Peabody Award,' and an 'Outstanding Writing for a Variety Special,' Emmy for the show 'Nanette,' on Netflix) who uses her stand up comedy to explore personal revelations on gender, sexuality and childhood turmoil.

The subject matter is dark, but we laugh because we can relate to the experiences (maybe not directly but perhaps having experienced something similar in the past). Comedy opens up the channels of communication so we can talk about the difficult and confusing things we experience in our daily lives.

No subject should be off limits as long as the tone is one of togetherness.

In the UK and Western world jokes are told about everything, and almost no subject is off-limits, though sometimes a lack of subtlety when discussing controversial issues can lead to issues and people being cancelled or called out for their inappropriate use of humour.
One famous example of dark comedy came from iconic writer Oscar Wilde while he was destitute and living in a cheap boarding house. Whilst on his deathbed in 1900 he supposedly joked: "Either that wallpaper goes or I do.”

Dark moments can be given levity with humour

This is a perfect example of how the darkest of moments can be given levity and humour, and create a genuine connection between the person telling the joke and the one hearing it (we can just imagine how the tension was broken in this moment and Wilde managed to do this when he was presumably at his lowest emotional point too). 

We often like to laugh at taboo subjects which might include things like sex, ageing, and difficult family dynamics (the mother-in-law joke was one that many of us grew up hearing in the eighties and nineties), and then of course topics such as bladder weakness.

Comedy, the right kind of comedy, can be effective in two ways - it helps us diffuse tension from subjects that feel uncomfortable and it also opens up channels of communication.

It is less helpful however if it is used to belittle someone who is experiencing bladder weakness or if it's used to push the experience under the carpet.

In fact, the old fashioned style of comedy often involved belittling specific people or creating stereotypes i.e. 'the annoying wife who nags all the time.' These may have been funny at the time, but now feel out of date and lacking modernity.

Humour needs to be relevant and true to our experiences to be funny

We want our comedy to be relevant, and also for it to be true to life,- making sweeping generalisations about people is often not helpful because it creates division rather than unity (division often stems from a lack of understanding of others versus being grounded in who they really are).

So can we use humour to talk about bladder weakness? Isn’t it a serious subject that shouldn’t be laughed at?

Well this is a fairly loaded question and not easy to answer quickly. The main thing we believe is that when we laugh at something like bladder weakness we always do it in an inclusive, empathetic and above all authentic way.

We laugh at it because we have experienced it, because we know how tough it can be, and we do it because our brand is community-centric, built on the experiences of thousands of real women (and men) who are navigating bladder weakness every day. 

Jude is on a mission to raise awareness of bladder weakness

We recently collaborated with 'Mothers Meeting,' - a fab mothers networking platform- and featured 3 stand up comedians performing in front of a group of mothers.

No subject is taboo as long as the tone and energy is authentic and true to life

It also felt like a genuinely safe environment as everyone in the room was female, the majority had children and so there were a ready bank of experiences that everyone could relate to (and bladder weakness was one of these). 

Importantly when we 'make light' of bladder weakness we are not negating the experience, or saying that it is not difficult.

We are also not judging.

At Jude if we ever use humour, we use it because we are mirroring the language our community use and the approach they have to their health. If you join Jude & Friends, you will immediately notice that there are a lot of funny memes, jokes and anecdotes shared by our community members.

Jude & Friends is not a serious and solemn place!

These jokes make the space feel welcome, and also give members a sense of connection (like the 'Mothers Meeting,' event - we feel safe so we can say what we want without fear of others judging us). If a new member joins, they are immediately welcomed, and encouraged to share, but they are not forced to tell jokes or be funny. This is another rule when it comes to comedy and bladder weakness.

Humour only works f the person sharing the anecdote is comfortable doing so, and is enjoying the moment too

Humour doesn't work if we are laughing at someone who feels uncomfortable and out of their depth (or is being forced to share something personal that they'd rather not make public- this is often why the audience at comedy venues are on edge, worried that they may get picked on by the comedian and forced to say something they don't want to!)

So is bladder weakness something we can treat with humour?

Well yes and no.

If you do it right then yes.

If it creates a dialogue yes.

If the person telling the story is coming from a place of authenticity yes.

Here at Jude we will continue to see the light side of bladder weakness, but we also know that it’s not always the right time or place to crack a joke. Our values are always to be authentic, real and honest about life.

It’s also paramount that bladder weakness is presented in the right way. Comedy is an important tool to help us navigate life experiences but the time and the conditions for it work need to be just right.

Don't you agree?